Posts Tagged ‘This’
For a reason unknown, a random string of coincidences occurs. For example, perhaps you will see the same quantity a lot in a week…on lotto tickets, sports scores, phone numbers, menu prices, and anything else you can feel of.
It just so happened that right now was a string of coincidences that was a mix of anger and comedy. Lately I’ve been watching a bunch of “Curb Your Enthusiasm” episodes. In each and every episode, the plot develops in modest steps and you can virtually predict the ending until Larry David throws in a hilarious twist. I’ve watched at least five episodes in the past couple of weeks.
When I woke up this morning I was excited to make a excellent breakfast with all the the food I had bought last night at the grocery store. Usually the night I go I end up consuming half the food I bought, but this time I had the self-discipline to hold back. Nevertheless, all the dishes in the home were dirty. Upset that I had no ability to make breakfast, I created a cup of Kona coffee and watched sportscenter. Because I couldn’t make breakfast, I didn’t have enough energy to make it to the gym. The one day of the year that someone calls and asks me to go to the gym with them, I can’t go. At this point I’m pretty upset so I go to turn on some music and play poker.
My phone is ringing and I get to my desk just in time to miss a call from my Dad. Like all men and women over the age of 50, he leaves me a voice mail. He says he is at the dentist by my apartment, and that he wants to meet up right after his appointment. He then also told me not to call him back since he was going to be in the dentist’s chair. I oblige, passing up playing poker since I’m under the impression I’ll be seeing him in an hour. Back to sportscenter, I’m obtaining frustrated with spending the day so far in my house. 2:30pm rolls around and he calls me back. He tells me he doesn’t want to genuinely want to meet up anywhere but he desires to quit by just to say hello. However, my house is currently a mess and given the short amount of time I would have had to clean, I just couldn’t invite him over.
Embarrassed I stated, “You can’t come over here right now, my place is in no shape for you to see it.”
We talk for a couple of minutes longer, prolonging the unfortunate realization that we just won’t see every single other. My frustration grows.
As soon as I discover out he is not coming over I hop proper onto online poker. Very first hand I get dealt AA get it all in vs KK and lose. I wasn’t too mad due to the fact it was only a $ 20 acquire in, but I decided it wasn’t my day for poker. I was in about 3 other people and was generating calls to massage locations near me. I unregistered for all my other tournaments although I was booking an appointment. The very first location I call is a location I have by no means been prior to, but is close.
I make an appointment for five:30pm and at the end of the call the receptionist says, “Ok so I have you for 5:30pm with Orien, is that ok?”.
Whilst mindlessly multitasking I reply, “yes”.
About 3 minutes into the next 5 minutes, I begin performing some analysis. I look up all the stats about Orien and locate out he is just some random dude at a massage parlor. I start thinking to myself about the scenario. Am I going to drop $ 100 for some random dude with no accolades to give me a massage? If I’m paying $ 100 I want a hot red head or a small Asian girl that can do handstands on my back.
I panic.
I quickly feel of the most common excuse I can, and call them back. I tell them that I have just gotten called into function and I have to cancel. She responds optimistically practically assuming I was going to cancel. It makes me wonder if she won a bet or something.
Situation under control, back to playing 3 tables. I bust on all 3 in the next 2 minutes. Even so, the doorbell rings and its Fedex, giving me a check. I feel a bit of relief and choose that I am going to get a massage, at the location I have been going for the last numerous months. On the way I can deposit my check. I call up the other massage parlor, “Fu Shen”.
The lady who picks up seems to have spent all of 2 weeks in this country, and much less time learning English. She knows nearly nothing, understanding every single 8th word I say. Let me just put it this way, It took 7 minutes to book the appointment. Lastly soon after battling the language barrier, we come to an understanding that I have an appointment for 4pm, under the name Jeff.
I excitedly hop in the shower hoping for my day to turn around. On the way in to the bathroom I drop my towel on the dirty hallway floor.
I make it to the bank which is literally next to Fu Shen. There is only one ATM in kiosk, that accepts check deposits. I wait patiently even though a girl exhausts every single single option at the ATM prior to she withdraws her 20 bucks. Finally I deposit, snatch my ATM card, and I head into Fu Shen 5 minutes late.
As soon as I enter the hallway there is an awful smell. It smelled like some gross chemicals but not like bleach. Not even really certain how to describe it greater as it was a very first for me. There is a tanning salon across the hall and I just assume its that place. I walk into Fu Shen, and I greet the small Asian Lady at the desk.
I stated hello to her optimistically, excited for my massage. She follows with, “hello?”. I pause for a second wondering why the hell she is saying hello as a question. I just continue the conversation and explain to her that my name is Jeff and I have an appointment at 4pm. The whole time she is just smiling at me and then just replies, “hello?”.
I don’t know what to say at this point. She stands up and walks over to the doors where I usually get my massage. I follow her by the door and she opens it up and there is a individual obtaining a massage in the room. At this point I’m totally confused, I’m attempting to get a level on this receptionist. Is she just messing with me? There’s just no possible way the individual obtaining a massage could really feel comfy with me seeking into the room. She then closes the door and just starts laughing.
I say, “what the hell”.
She walks me back to the front of the store where there is a clock. She says, “come back” in really broken English. I realize this is a strugglefest in the creating, so I just say, “I have massage at 4, I am Jeff”, although holding 4 fingers up. She looks at me and starts laughing once again. This was a weird and creepy laugh. She then ushers me over to the clock and points at it. She points at the small hand of the clock then points to five o’clock notch.
While pointing at the 5 o’clock she says, “You come back at 4″. I look at her and burst out laughing hysterically and saying yes,yes, yes, over and over once more. “I’ll be back at 4 you crazy woman”. About 2 seconds into me laughing she just starts laughing once more and nodding her head actually rapidly. For about 5 seconds we had been just standing next to each and every other laughing at every other. I’ve in no way laughed so hard in my life with an Asian lady.
Right after the 5 seconds is over we just pause. She doesn’t say a word and neither do I. She isn’t even smiling anymore. I look at her when a lot more and leave with out saying anything. I don’t think I’ll ever be going back.
The day is only half over.
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